what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Its about making memories worth repressing
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
