i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
