never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
