Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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