too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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