They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Randomize
