dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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