I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
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