So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
