I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
