using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
