I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I'm sobbing to NWA
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
