I bet he comes in French.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
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we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
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All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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