I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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