He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
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