Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
