I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
