Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
