Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
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