If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
