we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Randomize
