Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
