When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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