That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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