Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
