Plan B is the new Plan A
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
then he tried to convert me to islam
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
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