...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
This girl is more easily done than said...
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Randomize
