but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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