i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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