garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
ya dads aren't the best wingmen
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
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