He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
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