shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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