Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
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