drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Randomize
