I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
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You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
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Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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