Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
