i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
