Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
