I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
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