O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I would fuck him just for his dog
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
