I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
