you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
