Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
