I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
