you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
