I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
