this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
do herpes really smell.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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