Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Randomize
