He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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