You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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