Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
