so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
