I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
