perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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