so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
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I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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