sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
