I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Randomize
