He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
