You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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