Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
