i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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