I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
