just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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