I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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