I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
