He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize