The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
