Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
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