I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
