it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I just want nice things and good sex
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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