You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
