I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Then you guys just all showered together...?
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
