whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Randomize