Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
21 Times Karma Showed These People Not to Mess Around
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Also, beer. Big fan.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me