Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
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Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
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Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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