White coat. Heels.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Dude, where are you?
... whose car?
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there