Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
