Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize